In these times of deep, significant spiritual awakening and shifts, where you have a wealth of information and resources available at your fingertips, it has probably never been easier to identify, honour and support your inner journey towards wholeness, healing and becoming a more aligned version of yourself.
In my work as an Intuitive Life Coach, one of the fascinating features of this pilgrimage are the many different levels and flavours of self-awareness and opportunities for healing that begin to emerge once you’ve embarked on this path.
But for all your searching, trying, and trusting in the promise of the vastly improved life that beckons, it is imperative you realise the mysterious ingredient that calls your REAL self forward as the protagonist on your journey is Self-Love.
Sadly, my observation of the women I work with, across the board, is that they haven’t ever really been taught exactly what self-love is.
One of the main reasons they haven’t been taught, is because more than likely, their parents and teachers didn’t know what self-love was, that they were actually entitled to it and the huge role it plays in their overall sense of balance, meaning, happiness and purpose in their lives.
Additionally, the process of socialisation is complex and beyond the scope of this writing, but to take this idea of self-love a step farther, in its simplest form, we start as very young children acquiring the social skill-set appropriate to each increasingly sophisticated level until we become adults. And indeed, as a continuation of this theme, most of us as adults are in some way or other bound or affected by our over-arching cultural and social expectations and norms.
There is a curious aspect of the socialisation process, that unless you are firmly rooted in your knowingness about who you ARE, tends to pull you right out of communication with your unique inner perspective and voice and into the consciousness of the status quo.
Unless you are able to conjure up and become a living, breathing expression of self-love, it will always feel like there is something missing as you strive towards that place of inner completeness, contentment and peace.
You see, it isn’t really possible to have a full and authentic experience of your most sacred life, if on the most fundamental of levels, you are not connected into and in communication with your REAL self.
Your primary relationship in this lifetime is your relationship to yourself – your REAL self
With this understanding firmly established, it becomes easier and more natural for you to recognise the importance of tuning in and trusting yourself first, in every area, relationship and situation in your life.
On the contrary, when you don’t feel fully aligned with your most authentic self, it can be the cause of discomfort, spiritual restlessness, frustration and pain. Every day I see resilient, committed, determined, generous, intuitive women struggle because they haven’t yet clicked into understanding that self-love is by its very nature, deeply transformational and healing. That is, self-love is the ingredient that will ultimately underpin their process of re-defining their relationships with themselves and their world.
This came through loud and clear in the outpouring of response to my Wise Woman Within article and the free Reconnect With Your Inner Wise Woman tele-class I invited women into from there. The main themes that came up for attention again and again in responses to the preparatory questions leading up to the event were self-love and self-worth. It was fascinating to see this observation from my work with private clients mirrored on a such a large scale. In fact, I am inclined to believe that as far as spiritual awakening goes, healing and growing our understanding of ourselves in the area of self-love is a universal theme.
Without self-love and an appreciation of your true intrinsic worth, it can feel like the time, energy and resources you have been investing in changing your life has been being sucked down an etheric black hole.
Admittedly, the idea of truly loving oneself is one that is so deeply submerged within our consciousness that it can appear slippery and changeable at best. And our ability to love ourselves is just one side of the coin – knowing ourselves and really being able to connect into our Inner Wisdom is the other side of that coin. Our quotient of self-love is a reflection of each of us as a beautiful work in progress as we evolve and respond with ever-increasing awareness, meaning, passion and purpose to our relationships, careers, health and homes.
It can be difficult at first to really pull your attention away from the external tide of voices, expectations and opinions about who ‘they’ perceive you to be. But it is only by doing so that you can truly experience the intensity, enormity and power of being present to yourself. And after a lifetime of being swept along with the tide, it can be unnerving, even overwhelming to make that first step back into physical, mental, emotional and spiritual affinity with your REAL self.
If you have ever been at this place, you would have noticed that at the same time you feel your fears emerging as intimidating shadows from the corners of your being, you also experience the growing sense that you are feeling into a huge, life-changing truth. You notice yourself naturally moving towards an understanding of yourself that is beyond words because your true magnitude and potentiality is beyond words. You become acutely aware that you have to look at and conquer your greatest fears in order to have and enjoy more of who you ARE.
This entire process of healing and ‘becoming’ is driven by self-affinity and self-love. Once you’ve taken that first step towards greater alignment with your true magnitude, continued growth is no longer a choice. Your spirit gravitates towards the growing sense of expansion and freedom like a moth to a flame. Without realising it, you give yourself permission to let go of a whole inner level of untruth and limiting beliefs about who you are NOT in order that you can plug into this euphoric sense of expansion and freedom around who you really ARE. This translates as a natural release of the corresponding level of untruth on the external in such a way that your relationships, the nature of your experiences, interests, the way you dress, nourish and pamper yourself as well as the new physical things you feel drawn to acquire begin to change.
Once you take a quantum leap in your affinity and alignment with your REAL self, and ‘up’ your self-love quotient, you literally become a different person. Your life changes accordingly and it just isn’t possible to go back.