Have you ever met someone and just knew beyond all rational thinking that you know that person? And that far from being a relationship that you can recall within recent memory, it feels more like an indescribable recognition that plumbs the entire expanse of your body, being and soul?
There is no doubting that this type of soul-level recognition is something that occurs at least once for most of us over the course of our individual lifetimes. The instant familiarity combined with the intensity of emotion that often accompanies such encounters can reveal itself through both sexual as well as platonic relationships when they emerge.
It is a phenomenon I have seen many times in my work as an Intuitive Life Coach, and indeed, I have experienced it at least a few times in my personal life as well. There is an inherent aura of magic and mystery, as this connection, wrapped in juicy unconscious layers of imagery, emotions and interactions from the past, show up in present time.
Oftentimes, it can feel very much like an inner awakening that shakes you right to your core. It can be heady, exciting and jolt you out of a slumber making you feel like you have re-joined the land of the living – that you have only just ‘come alive’. Where things start getting a little more complicated however, is when you experience this rush of recognition and you open the gateway of your heart in anticipation of the truly earth-shattering, long-sought after sense of completeness and love that might possibly come next – except you discover that sadly, the other person just does not feel the same way – you are faced with the horrendous realisation that you are longing for a long lost but painfully unrequited love.
There are a few recurring themes that I notice for my clients when this kind of soul-level recognition comes up in their experience. Even though the recognition of the unspoken connection might be more pronounced for my client, there is usually at least some minimal kind of recognition on the part of the other person as well.
More often than not however, it quickly becomes apparent that reconciliation of the underlying reasons and corresponding ways in which my client experiences the connection can only take place at a level of self-awareness and understanding that unfortunately cannot and will not match the other person’s current life situation and needs.And it is no wonder considering that my work centres around helping my clients heal and connect into their REAL selves so they can become more self-actualised. It makes perfect sense that the other person would be at a very different place in their consciousness and journey of evolution and healing.
So it goes without saying that these types of soul to soul connections can be difficult to manoeuvre not least because the feelings, possibilities and expectations they evoke for at least one of you, can also feel enmeshed with a very primordial level of emotional and even, spiritual pain. This is the pain associated with etheric memories of past abandonment and feelings of being fundamentally unaccepted and unloved that not only wander through the corridors of your soul, but are the unconscious motivators that drive you to seek out and fulfill your most basic need to feel full, loved and complete.
It is also interesting that sometimes there is an accompanying sense of longing, loss for some vague unknown feeling of validation that can become a driving force that causes you to respond to the other person from a confusing, emotional place of expectation and demand, because you feel so strongly connected to the other person that you just cannot understand why they don’t feel the same way and how they could be anything but instinctively aware of your needs and love for them too.
In this way, the interaction or relationship invariably becomes skewed by the fleeting but nonetheless intense memories, images and emotions from times gone by rather than shaped from a place of balance and reason based on the reality of the individuals involved in present time.
I have seen relationships like these almost become a source of emotional torture. The longing and feeling of ‘incompleteness’ you inadvertently attach to the other person causes you to project onto the other person your ‘problems’ that you believe only they can solve.
And so, from years of personal experience and deep inner work with clients, here are four sometimes difficult but truly liberating truths I have come to know.
These are the 4 truths of soul to soul recognition:
Buying into the untruth that you somehow are ‘incomplete’ and needing to be ‘saved’ is a way of unwittingly absolving yourself of personal responsibility. This causes you to feel trapped and unable to navigate your own life while you sit in a place of intense emotional and spiritual pain. The underlying lesson here is that you are the only one who can save yourself. You can have the whole backing of the universe and others can show you the way, support you and hold your hand, but ultimately, only you can save yourself.
Not to diminish the intensity of your experience or to say that it does not contain embedded pain – but to be clear – your metaphoric and literal freedom from the experience and the pain lies in being able to see beyond its manifestation to the heart of the issue. No matter how imperfect you feel, the truth is that you ARE complete and whole just as you are. Self-validation and self-love are what will enable you to heal and release the pain that has gotten stimulated for you through this interaction, and cement your experience of the ‘completeness’ you seek.
It can be ironic that the person you feel this intense, emotionally charged soul-level connection with often comes bearing the precise healing gift you need. For the most part, you are disconnected from the interactions and soul-level decisions that were made on the other side of the veil – before you incarnated in this lifetime. You ‘forget’ about the true depth and magnitude of your connection with the other person’s soul and about the possibility that even though you are not destined to be together in this lifetime, that there is actually a much deeper connection that has its basis in pure Spiritual love.
This is the pool of universal love that heals and soothes all worries and pains and that if you surrender to it will actually lead you to find completeness within yourself. Your soul-level buddy from another time is actually being used as a messenger from the universal pool of love. As a direct result of the deeply spiritual, unspoken nature of your connection across eons of time, he or she agreed not to ‘rescue’, ‘save’, heal or complete you in this lifetime – but to act as the trigger to help you learn to do this for yourself.
This bigger picture view of soul-level agreements such as this can be admittedly difficult to embrace when you are stuck in the real-life, real-time experience and question of WHY? Why me? Why not? Why can’t he or she just SEE me? Why can’t he or she simply LOVE me? Why doesn’t he or she realise that we are meant to be together?! Why is he or she putting me through so much pain?! As far as these types of soul to soul connections go, and the resulting feeling of un-requited love, when you surrender to these feelings of heartbreak, loneliness and despair, you relinquish your power and ability to truly blossom.
Once you have realised that no amount of wishing, wanting or hoping that things could be different will change your situation, there comes a point where you need to seriously consider your options. At this point, there are two clear routes. The first is down the continued road of painful ‘stuckness’ while you pine for and await your unrequited love. The second becomes available only after you have decided that you are going to take your fate into your own hands and determine that you are going to become more of your best self. Being able to make this decision enables you draw a line in the sand so you can take the second route down the road less traveled back to your complete self – that which requires you to consistently extend gestures of love and appreciation towards yourself, who you really ARE and your beauty, wisdom and gifts that on your deepest levels you have been wanting to know and experience all along.