Are you on a journey of personal transformation but have a self-sabotaging behaviour you have been keeping hidden? This can take the form of an urge to ‘self-medicate’ or becoming overly reliant on things such as alcohol, food, recreational drugs, or sex. You might find such refuge in this behaviour, that rather than think of it as self-defeating, you might actually consider it a good friend, a vital creature comfort along the way.
But herein lies the trap – sometimes you can end up doing such a great job of keeping your relationship with this substance or thing out of the sight of others that your struggles and emotional pain around its underlying causes get more and more deeply submerged within your consciousness as you do.
The clients I notice in this situation are often high performers, hold themselves to extremely high standards, are very learned and accomplished, but crucially, at the same time they are just terrified of not being good enough, being judged, rejected, and truly seen.
They tend to crave the approval of others to the extent that this often informs how they apply themselves, the projects and commitments they undertake, the personal achievements and accolades they seek. They secretly scope the landscape or room they are in to see how many people they have managed to impress. They put on the face of the over or high-achiever yes, but they also display a modesty and composure that protects against anyone knowing their deep inner truth. And that is, that at their core, they feel like an unhappy, pathetic fraud. They are intensely frustrated and unhappy in themselves, but having invested considerable energy, resources, and time to achieve what those with clout in their outer lives would consider ‘success,’ they now have to smile and be gracious, even though in their heart of hearts, they are longing for a deep level of personal transformation that will address their feelings of being desperately unworthy, chronically unfulfilled, and for the most part, unseen.
The feelings of being a fraud especially can arise when you invest yourself in activities that make it seem like you are doing all the right things on the outer — volunteering, championing a worthy cause such as looking after the vulnerable or less fortunate, training or practicing to become a yoga teacher or holistic therapist, eating organic, drinking green juice, going to the gym, detoxing, doing body cleanses, meditating, reading self-help books, taking personal development courses… and so on. The reliance on your secret ‘medication’ alongside these, however, is the tell-tale crack that begins to show when you are not aligned and living from a place of authenticity, self-honesty, and truth.
Because the people who have a tendency to act out these patterns are by their very nature high-performers, they often have a lot of commitments. And because they have so much going on in their lives, this actually sets them up for more of the same type of superficial validation — in a way that continually serves to keep their attention away from, and thereby fuelling, their deep inner emotional pain.
This type of behaviour ultimately belies a chronic lack of self-worth, self-acceptance, and self-love. If you are recognising that you have been pouring your precious energy, resources, and time into achieving outer successes and accolades that have been taking you further and further away from your deep inner need to address your unhappiness, low self-esteem, and soul-level pain, it is so important that you realise you are at a very important moment. Right now, your commitment to your personal transformation is the only thing that will save you from this spiral that can easily lead you into depression, disempowerment, and despair.
And due to the way you’ve been engaging life, it is perfectly normal at this moment of realisation to feel extreme panic and fear at the idea that you need to show up and ‘do’ anything differently. These feelings speak directly to really not knowing how to see and hold your real Self — your vulnerabilities, fears, tremendous capability, good, generous heart, sadness and all. Because to drop the facade would mean having to accept who you really are, without the external validation you’ve been receiving like the oxygen you would get from a life support machine.
To drop the facade is tantamount, not necessarily to taking new and immediate action, but to making a firm and conscious choice about addressing your (un)happiness levels, self-healing, and self-growth. And in letting go of the facade of a life that doesn’t honour your authentic Self, you finally give yourself permission to also let go of different people and things you’ve been looking to for approval in the absence of knowing how to provide this for yourself.
It is both scary and liberating all at the same time.
Despite whatever reservations or fears will naturally come up around making your personal transformation a priority, if this message is striking a chord, chances are that you are really ready to make a choice to move forward in a very different way…
In a way that speaks directly to the disconnect between your inner and outer worlds and by its very nature, supports, validates, recognises and holds the authentic you. It is crucial now that you put in place a committed process that will support you in directly addressing your self-sabotaging fears and patterns around not being good enough, not deserving, and hiding your real self away.
What does that committed process look like?
What is it that has been on the periphery of your attention and awareness that has been threatening to push you out of your comfort zone and you’ve been avoiding or putting off?
Making this choice consciously and determinedly powerfully sets you up to begin creating a shift in the way you have been expending your energy and time in present time. It will enable you to begin opening up on previously unknown levels, starting now and continuing until you step fully into that committed process. In your own small ways, you will naturally begin connecting into your fundamental need to be more loving and accepting of your REAL Self, and the sense of soul-level comfort you are so deeply longing and searching for.
To be at this precise moment and place of personal truth requires nothing less than grit, tremendous courage, self-honesty, and resolve, in order that you can begin re-building your relationship with yourself and your life.
What are you seeing and learning about yourself and your need for personal transformation right now?
Your answer to this question, truly, will be worth its weight in gold.
HERE IS WHAT MY CLIENTS ARE SAYING
I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely loved reading your article about the internet stealing our energy. I completely know about this and don’t have to be convinced. I would love to be able to write this kind of stuff myself as I have a feeling we share the same thoughts and “facts” about what is going on outside our consciousness and reality.
I just finished your article, “Soul to Soul Recognition and Unrequited Love”. I found the link to this article on Wake Up World’s FB page and wanted to let you know how intuitive I thought it was. One of the best articles I have ever read.”
This article was amazing. Thank you for sharing this to the world. I just went through a situation very similar with the same feelings and actions. But I learned what I needed to, and reading this article just really gave me life and inspiration to keep going.
I used to read some of Caroline’s writings and feel like she was talking to me personally. I couldn’t ignore the voice inside me any longer, my soul cried for acknowledgement. Caroline knew instantly the place I was stuck and how to assist me out.
Talking with Caroline was such a breath of fresh air…I could sense that she really got it … she just got me. She understood me on a deep energetic level. I just knew that she would be there for me…as she has been…there with me through the trenches of my own transformation.
Caroline sees far into those valleys before you, places you would never want to walk into, and assures you of your way out. You know there is one person in this world that knows the terrain you have to cross and somehow, through the light she brings to your journey, she is with you in those valleys. She knows me better than even the people closest to me. And she is just the loveliest, smartest, funniest, calmest, humblest person. A phenomenal package deal.
Working with Caroline in the C&M L1 programme has helped me to leave a very negative work environment where my confidence, self-belief, and self-trust were being undermined constantly and eventually eroded. I felt safe in the knowledge that I had some support that is patient and understood the trouble I was having resolving this conflict.
I feel so blessed to have Caroline as a spiritual mentor. Participation in the Creativity and Manifestation Level 1 course has given me the tools to connect even deeper with my authentic self than I thought possible. The program really helps you clear your mindset so that you know what you deeply, truly want for your best life.
Caroline has the capacity to see the bigger picture and tailor her skills to anyone’s challenges. My life now feels so much more on track and in such a short time….I can’t thank Caroline enough.
Caroline is a gem. She has the uncanny ability to be gentle and strong as she leads you to light bulb moments. C&M L1 has helped me to go back and lay a stronger foundation to build the rest of my life upon. I’ve been given the tools to become more accomplished in business and in my personal life.
My time with Caroline has not just been life supporting and life changing but probably (at the risk of overstating/sounding dramatic) life saving. I can’t imagine where I might have ended up if I had not done the work with her.
Caroline stands with you and shows you these deep painful pictures that you hold in your being, that you think define you and she sits with you while you process self-betrayal, lack of love and validation, incompleteness. Then she pushes you to move on, to leave behind what no longer serves you, what you grasped at in a futile attempt to complete or validate yourself.
Working with Caroline over the past 8 months has been extremely enlightening and rewarding. She guided me into experiencing myself as a beautiful spirit, I can recognise the fog right away and with her help can use the tools she has taught me to return to the way of being where I am happier and more appreciative of myself.
A gifted Intuitive Healer and Clairvoyant, Caroline has helped me return to my life-path during my private coaching sessions with her….Defined goals were changed as new insights came up. During the process core healing and in-depth transformation took place; my own ability to help myself has improved. I am very grateful for her very timely and effective work.
Thank you for your patience, and your incredible, magical wisdom and clarity guiding me as I navigate these passages. Pure awesomeness. I honestly don’t know how I would have made it onwards this year without you.
Caroline helped navigate me step by step and she never made me feel alone, yet still, she gave me wings to fly by myself, free from my bondage within. I am a new person and even though I may look the same, sound the same, the inner transformation is mind blowing, I have begun to live the life in the space I’ve wanted to for so long.
Caroline is a very professional teacher who cares deeply about supporting her students as they align authentically with their spirit, develop their intuition and create their best life. She is equally skilled in the classroom teaching in groups as in her intensive one to one mentoring work with private clients…It is gratifying to know that she is helping and empowering so many people to fully integrate their soul purpose and inner voice into their daily lives, work and relationships.
Caroline comes into your life at the divine moment in which you have been meant to receive such a blessing! For me, I knew I had to contact her after reading one of her many profound and insightful articles. Caroline is the most intuitive person I have met and there is nowhere to hide from yourself when you have met Caroline! She reads you like a book and that is part of her magic and her blessing to your life’s journey and growth!
Caroline’s insights are deep and thorough. She reaches to the origin of our problems and shows the ways to resolve them. She is able to take you down to your emotions which works as catharsis readying you to introduce changes in your life. I recommend Caroline to everyone who wants to improve life and take responsibility for it.
You just know that something is troubling you, and you don’t know what it is. Caroline has the gift of seeing the energy patterns from where, and from when, these emotions have emerged. Revealed at last, this knowledge can help you to understand what is happening, and understanding is the beginning of compassion. Compassion for your own self. And that is the beginning of healing.
Well, I for one didn’t believe! But I feel now that I can move stuff – really old stuck stuff – because of the process.. It’s the combo of you and your insights and guidance and how you have structured things.
Caroline has this down to earth way of just bringing to light the things we have trouble seeing through her intuitive work. I always feel a sense of spiritual connection, a sort of motherly love unfailing feeling, like I could say anything without being judged or reprimanded, it’s a place of constant understanding.
Caroline starts you on this journey, she helps you to clear the issues that you now have the power and will to deal with, she helps you to build the life you choose for yourself, this inner self that is a hidden treasure she gave you the map to discover.
I have experienced tremendous inner growth where I’m able to recognize and appreciate my own self worth. I am more than enough. I am kind to my body as I nourish it in a healthier way.
She championed me and believed in me way more than I could. She held big spaces for me to fill in and has often stopped me from going further into painful situations even when I wanted to with all my heart. She helped me free myself and made me bolder than I have ever been in facing life. She saw what was there, all my buried potential, and gave me the hope and the confidence to go after it even when I couldn’t even imagine the way ahead, far less see it.
In Buddhism the lotus is known to be associated with purity, spiritual awakening and faithfulness, it is a beautiful flower that sits upon murky ponds, you help people find all these things and help us surface out of our murky ponds and bring out the beautiful lotus flower in all of us! oxo
There are no expectations, or judgements, or conditions with Caroline. In my experience, and humble opinion, Caroline Diana Bobart is an oracle in the truest meaning of that word.
Caroline has helped me not only within myself but with my relationships with others. She is a natural healer and can see what we need for ourselves before asking the questions.
I treasure my time with Caroline, she holds a safe space for me to go within and meet my true self…Unfortunately the journey of discovery is messy, scary, painful, full of anger and disappointment whilst the forever supportive Universe constantly sends experiences that help you to grow and break the old patterns. Caroline is the anchor in this muddy messy place.
Sometimes the mind can get cloudy; you become so wrapped up and trapped in its many convolutions, that you find yourself not even knowing where the hell you are. Or worse, even ‘who’ you are, and your true location and trajectory in the grand scheme of your life experience. Caroline’s inner work helps to open a window through the clouds; it helps you to hear and see through the mind’s sometimes deafening and blinding chatter. She can bring clarity to your life situation.
Caroline has truly been such a blessing to my life beyond what words can describe and I feel like I just met her! Not only is she one of the most intuitive and downright loving individuals that I’ve ever met but she might even be the most grounded as well … which is a rare combo in my experience.
Throughout the process, the freedom, the power, the awareness, the adventure, your truth, your being, start to rise and there is no going back, no way you can ‘unsee’ you.
You honour your ‘soldier’ that has kept you safe in your journey to your knowing of your true self and you retire ‘the soldier’. You begin to celebrate you, you stand in awe that this powerful, joyful being is you and what stretches ahead of you is getting to know yourself.
I am 56 years old and had always been a pretty upbeat and positive person. However, recently I had become quite negative and stuck in self-judgment and feeling like I had no direction to my life.
Since I have begun…I have made significant forward movement and released a huge amount of old beliefs that have held me back and kept me stuck in feeling negative and sorry for myself. I have released things like anger, resentment, jealousy, envy and patterns that I was not even aware I had until Caroline pointed them out and helped me see them.
It’s the combo of you and your insights and guidance and how you have structured things, and then the people in the group itself, and then of course the hand of spirit underneath it all working with me in ways I still don’t fully appreciate…until it kind of jumps out at me to reveal something.
All of that translates to feeling supported compared to the vacuum from which I was trying to shift things. It’s so subtle and gentle…fast moving but you can’t tell…just like light is.
Caroline has an incredible gift…She was very gentle, kind, and humorous at times which I loved, but really direct and ‘to the point’ also. She gave me exactly the right amount of information for me to process. It was clear to me that Caroline was really tapping into my energy, with incredible observations of exactly how I feel in the moment and in the past; she showed me what I need to do to grow further, and to flourish.
From my very first consultation with Caroline, I felt the comfort and warmth one feels when spending time with a dear friend; but not a ‘friend’ in the popular sense of the word. I mean a friend you may have never met before, but who somehow knows YOU, and sees YOU in a way no one else can; far deeper than you can see yourself. She reads the energy patterns that emanate from you; energy patterns that your thinking mind, so busy yapping on and on with itself, knows absolutely nothing about.
In my experience, working with Caroline is simple and safe. She explains and talks in a clear grounded and down to earth way. Importantly, she takes the lead from her client, so that has allowed me to be in control, to come to my own understandings and realisations.
She has great insight and intuition and can guide without interfering. The more I am ‘safe’ is the more I can trust and relax and be open to myself… and have the courage to see what I have been too scared to see.
Caroline is so approachable, calm and easy to work with. I never feel judged. I feel I’m able to open up and say what I need to say without feeling silly or ridiculous. I’ve had times during these past few months where I needed that extra support. I found the courage to ask for it and I got it. Caroline is so insightful and hits the nail on the head with things I struggle to explain or understand, she has a way with words that makes sense out of the things I’m struggling with. She seems to get what I’m trying to say….so understanding and intuitive. Even though this is very serious work there is humour too which just helps lighten a situation I’m struggling with, without Caroline being dismissive.
Before now, I have not felt that I have had the ‘right’ to have a sense of ‘self’ that is not entwined with others. I am now beginning to feel that I ‘deserve’ to take my space, be my size … instead of minimising myself and fitting in, pleasing….
Most essential to all of this having a regular/daily practices…This is key for helping me begin to know and trust my own energy and myself – and to be able to listen and to express more authentically from my centre.
I feel more solid and true…
I would tell others that if they are interested in a truly high level of healing, releasing and growth in their inner world and outer manifestations this is the best possible program! I have done many workshops and programs and read tons of books on how to remove negative beliefs and patterning. This program actually delivers in such a huge way that I can’t even compare it to any other program I have been in or book I have read.
Caroline is incredibly intuitive, supportive and insightful. She has this way of seeing and getting right to the issue that you may not ever have even considered and then it’s like ‘Oh, wow! She’s so right on! I see it now.’
I have been able to shift a lot of stuck energy by having the courage to face and acknowledge past hurts, although this was and is extremely difficult for me, with Caroline’s guidance and support I am able to work through it. Lots of tears and journaling – but once you get past that hump it’s amazing, the self-awareness and revelations experienced – the insight into what was holding me back – it’s hard to put into words but it has changed me in so many ways…I’m confident that whatever comes up next I will have that support, which is key to me moving through this.
There is always a reason for everything and understanding the unknown or dormant parts of you is the key to your spiritual growth. Caroline is a great master at helping you on your road to better understanding yourself.